you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish you could order shots online.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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