Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
