The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
