it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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