she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everyone says I win the strip club
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
