Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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