I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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