If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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