I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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