im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.