Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.