did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.