I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?