you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sober January is a disaster.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
