Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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