Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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