Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
