just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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