Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
