i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
