i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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