well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
