I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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