she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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