The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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