ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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