to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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