Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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