How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
