my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize