hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
