Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't turn off my feet"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
