and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
