READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
