tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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