My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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