You really coming over, don't trick.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm both gender and math confused
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
