is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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