they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
