is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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