Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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