the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
