Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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