Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We had to coat check the pizza.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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