Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're like the curious george of whores
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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