but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
