i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
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As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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