are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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