I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
