yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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