How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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