so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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