It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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