guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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