Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
