Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
