You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She is in my trunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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