Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
