I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
