i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
