do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
