I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
