I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
