Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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