just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
