Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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