Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
