woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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