i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
me + whiskey = a bad person
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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