You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
